Getting Baby To Sleep

As a new mother, you probably will wonder whether your baby is sleeping enough, or sleeping too much. There are guidelines of what to expect, but of course these can vary from baby to baby. Even if you’ve had children before, each baby will be different.

Newborn babies usually sleep about 16-17 hours in a 24-hour period. Most babies will not sleep through the night until they’re at least 3 months old. There are several reasons why. First of all, their stomachs are very small and they’ll get hungry faster, especially if you’re breastfeeding your baby. Breast milk is much more easily digested than formula, and your baby will need to feed more often, especially in the beginning.

Babies also have shorter sleep cycles than adults do and have shorter dream cycles. In general, though, a newborn baby should sleep about 8 or nine hours during the day and 8 hours or so at night. These won’t be in 8-hour cycles, of course. In the beginning, those sleep times will be very short.

As the baby gets older, up to about 2 years of age, she’ll still be sleeping 13-14 hours, but the amount of daytime sleep will diminish month-by-month. By age 2, your baby should be sleeping through the night with a 2-hour nap during the day. Again, this will vary by child. Your baby might need a slightly longer nap or two short naps. At this age though, try to discourage naps too late in the afternoon, as this can make it harder to get them to sleep a few hours later at bed time.

Once a baby begins to regularly sleep through the night, parents are often dismayed when he/she begins to awaken in the night again. This typically happens at about 6 months of age and is often a normal part of development called separation anxiety, when a baby does not understand that separations are temporary.

As your baby gets older and turns into a toddler, they’ll start to need less sleep during the day, but about 11 hours or so at night. You’ll be transitioning to fewer naps and even a cranky tired baby can have difficulty getting to sleep.

If your child will to go to bed only if you’re around, he’s forming bad habit that will be hard to break later. The best lesson you can teach him is how to soothe himself to sleep. Follow a nightly bedtime ritual (bath, books, and bed, for example) so he knows what’s expected of him and what to expect at night. You can tell him that if he stays in bed you’ll come back in five minutes to check on him. Let him know that he’s safe and that you’ll be nearby.

Toddlers are great negotiators, and they’re no different when it comes to bedtime. And because they so enjoy the time they spend with you, they’ll do what they can to prolong the time they have with you. Your child may take his time doing his usual nightly routine, ask repeatedly for a glass of water, or keep requesting that you come to his room because he needs something. If you suspect he’s stalling, don’t let him. Tell him it’s time for bed and that he can finish working on his art project the next day or find the stuffed bunny the following morning. Make the nighttime routine more “business like” when you kiss your baby and tuck him/her in. Don’t wait around for your baby to fuss. Just leave and close the door and wait about ten minutes before you go back in the room.

Sometimes it’s just a battle for control. Your toddler wants to control his environment as much as possible. You can’t force him to fall asleep. Try reverse psychology and tell him he doesn’t have to go to sleep, but can play in his crib. Eventually, he’ll fall asleep on his own.

Richard Ferber is director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital in Boston who believes in a “progressive” approach to helping your child fall – and stay – asleep.
Ferber has developed a forward-thinking plan of action to instill consistent and regular sleep patterns in your child. Briefly, he suggests that after a warm, loving pre-bedtime routine such as singing, rocking, or reading a book, you put your child to bed while she’s still awake. According to Ferber, putting your child to bed while still awake is crucial to successfully teaching her to go to sleep on her own.

Once you put her in bed, leave the room. If she cries, don’t check on her until after a specified amount of time has passed. Once you do return to her room, soothe her with your voice but don’t pick her up, rock her, or feed her. Gradually increase the length of time that passes between checks. After about one week, your infant will learn that crying earns nothing more than a brief check from you, and isn’t worth the effort. She’ll learn to fall asleep on her own, without your help.

Ferber says that there are a number of things that may interfere with your child’s sleep. Before you “Ferberize,” you should make sure that feeding habits, pain, stress, or medications are not causing or contributing to your baby’s sleep problems.

Ferber recommends using his method if your baby is 6 months or older. Like most sleep experts, he says that by the time most normal, full-term infants are 3 months old, they no longer need a nighttime feeding. And at 6 months, none do.

Ferber’s method can be modified if you feel it’s too rigid. Stretch out Ferber’s seven-day program over 14 days so that you increase the wait between checks every other night rather than every night.